i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
too bad you live with your parents still
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
