All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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