member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
