wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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