I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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