you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm passing your future prison.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
