All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize