Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
