some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
