Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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