You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
