the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
