I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
