Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
