forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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