I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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