Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
