And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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