your room smells of hookers.
And success
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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