I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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