Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
