that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
no, he came in my armpit
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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