i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
