If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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