Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
