This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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