Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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