so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
