I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
