OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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