You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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