You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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