Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
