i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
