I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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