Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
