I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
