Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
