she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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