3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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