He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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