Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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