My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
