Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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