a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
