just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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