Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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