So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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