how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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