he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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