I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
only if we run a train.
done.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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