yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My ass is underappreciated
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
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