is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
he quoted the bible to break up with me
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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