i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
