She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
