the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
