you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
