I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
