the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
