This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
