My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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